


dreams wrought in sunlight

by monograph



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Dreams vs. Reality, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, Summer Vacation, Supernatural Elements, Unreliable Narrator, general weirdness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:20:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26917261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monograph/pseuds/monograph
Summary: “I don’t know what I am exactly,” Minho says and the switch in topic rattles Jisung’s mind, “but I think that I have something to do with dreams.”---There's romance in the air and something in the water. All Jisung wants is a place to sleep and when he finds the river and Minho, he thinks that dreams do come true.The question is, is it just a dream?
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 6
Kudos: 36





	dreams wrought in sunlight

**Author's Note:**

> File this under, "I don't know what this is but I had fun writing it."

“What’s with all the questions about supernatural stuff?” Hyunjin demands as he pulls out of the parking lot. “You basically peppered Changbin hyung with questions throughout our meal.”

Jisung flicks on the radio just so that he has something to do. Music blares from the speakers and he scrambles to lower the volume, heart rate ricocheting up. “Sorry, I was just…” Jisung chews his lips as he considers what to say, “it’s just that this town’s history is so weird and wonderful that I got carried away.”

Hyunjin is silent as he navigates the hairpin turn that leads to his summer house. Even with the A.C. at full blast, Jisung’s thighs stick to his shorts. “I’m just fascinated by magic,” he adds.

“I can tell,” Hyunjin smiles, “you really want to believe in the…” he raises a hand and sweeps it in an arc, “ magical version of the town’s history, don’t you?”

Jisung doesn’t know how to tell him about Minho . Mostly because he doesn’t know if Minho will be okay with his story being told to others, but also because he doesn’t understand much of it himself. “I like to think that there’s more to our world than just this,” he mimics Hyunjin’s gesture. “Something other than just hard science.”

Hyunjin hums as he considers it. “Isn’t there a link between being suggestible and being more responsive to the placebo effect?”

“I’m not suggestible. I’m just open to new ideas,” Jisung counters, “and anyway there are a lot of extraneous variables affecting the relationship between my sleep and the river.” He changes the station and swallows, trying to control the defensiveness ringing in his words, “no stress, for one. So, it’s impossible to say whether going to the river has improved my sleep or not.”

“It was a joke,” Hyunjin says carefully, “you know, you believe in magic, so you actually feel whatever magical effect this town is supposed to have.”

Jisung forces himself to relax against his seat and looks out of the window, focusing on the blurring greenery. They’re almost there. “I know. I was just showing off what I learned in intro to psych,” he says in a mock lofty tone. 

Hyunjin laughs, but it sounds strained.

───────

Jisung realises that he is halfway in love with Minho on a summer’s day when they’re by the river and under the cruel sun.

Minho sheds his clothes till he is left in his swim shorts. The display of smooth skin jars Jisung’s brain. He had never expected this though he had secretly hoped that Minho would swim with him. He sees Minho’s shoulder blade flex as he pushes his sweat slick hair back and turns to smile at Jisung.

Jisung looks up. The sun is behind Minho and Jisung can’t make out his expression. Gray spots dance in front of his eyes as they adjust to the direct glare of the sun. Minho rests a hand on his stomach for a moment, brushes his hand down it. He flicks his fingers and a piece of lint floats between them.

“Want to swim?” Minho asks.

For a month, Jisung has only been swimming in the chlorinated and heated pool at Hyunjin’s house. He doesn’t know if the river is safe to swim in or if it is full of parasites and algae. But Minho is already stepping into the water and he turns sideways to look at Jisung again. He extends a hand, raises a brow.

Jisung doesn’t know about the river as much as Minho does. If Minho thinks it is safe, then it is. Jisung stands and shucks his clothes off, leaving him only in his underwear. He hadn’t known that Minho would want to swim today.

Maybe he is imagining the glint in and the rake of Minho’s eyes. Maybe he is foolish to walk into the river with Minho who is non-human in ways that Jisung cannot understand. But there’s a thick, syrupy heat in the pit of his stomach and his heart is booming in his ears.

He places his hand on Minho's hand. The heat flares and Jisung’s face burns.

The next moment, the cold water shocks him, clears his mind of all thought. The heat remains, however, and Jisung basks in it.

───────

Perhaps he should start at the beginning. But Jisung doesn’t understand what that will achieve. We find ourselves in the middle of a chain of events when we dream – in medias res – and the beginning is lost to that part of our brain that is always far from our reach. And yet we dream. And yet we let it drag us to corners that vanish under the light of day.

But beginnings are an anchor. We have hooked a promise of understanding to it and refuse to bend, refuse to let the stories surround us and wrap us in their thrall. We demand: a beginning, a middle, and an end. We demand: linearity, coherency and sense-making.

Jisung used to believe that too, but now, in the clear, green, burnished fishbowl of summer, he doesn’t.

The threads that led to this – not events, threads – are as follows: Jisung has had trouble sleeping since his childhood. Or, as they tell him in his psychology class, he is a person with insomnia because he is a full person with a rich existence who just happens to deal with a fucked up sleep cycle too.

Jisung isn’t able to sleep sometimes and even if he does, he wakes up just as exhausted as he was when he went to bed. His sleep quantity is poor and his sleep quality is poorer still. He tries to manage it, but it is difficult to cultivate proper sleep hygiene in a shitty dorm room, where he cannot separate his sleep and work areas. And the assignments don’t ever let him follow a schedule.

The next thread is this: Hyunjin becomes his roommate. Hyunjin is kind and as friendly as a puppy, so without even knowing it, Jisung becomes fast friends with him. But even before Jisung’s insomnia worsened and even before Hyunjin became his roommate, Hyunjin’s grandparents bought a house in a riverside town.

Before _all_ of this, decades ago, people started raving about this lovely riverside town where people who fell ill were cured so quickly that it baffled doctors. Scientists flew in and studied the area, but they didn’t find any conclusive explanation. They said it could be a confluence of a variety of properties which was translated to ‘something special in the water’ by the media. No one bothered with the ‘placebo’ part of the study.

Lured by the promise of eternal health, wealthy people took over the town and built their houses and Hyunjin’s family bought a house and made it a tradition to go there every summer. Hyunjin, out of his goodness and kindness saw Jisung struggling with sleep, and invited him to spend the holidays at his summer place.

With so many things intersecting and influencing each other either by chance or by design, how can Jisung talk about how it all began?

───────

Jisung shivers as a cool breeze blows on his skin. He’s stretched out on the bank of the river and Minho is basking beside him. It is late afternoon and the sky is so clear that Jisung thinks that he can see right past it.

“I’ve been sleeping better these days,” he says softly. He turns his head to study Minho, but Minho continues looking at the sky. “Is it because of you?”

Minho frowns and his mouth tightens. “I don’t know,” he replies with a sullen lilt to his words. “I told you… nothing of this – it’s all,” he sits up and runs his fingers through his hair. “It is beyond me, beyond us.” He touches Jisung’s shoulder, “it’s the river.”

Jisung puts his hand under him and pushes off the ground. Minho’s hand stays on his shoulder, unyielding. “Is this a curse? Are you cursed?” his mouth is dry. When was the last time he drank water? It’s so easy to forget things when he’s with Minho.

“I don’t know,” Minho isn’t frowning anymore, but there’s such a deep sadness to the furrow of his brows that Jisung’s throat aches. “I just know that I’m like this, Jisung. I have no idea what happened before this.”

Jisung places his hands on the slope of Minho’s biceps. If they moved closer and softened their arms, then it would be a lover’s embrace. This is a desperate grasp. “You keep saying that… I don’t understand it, is – ”

“I don’t either,” Minho says and shakes of Jisung’s hands and at the same time he drops his own. He goes to the river’s edge. “You’re expecting answers from someone who is a question.”

Dusting earth and grass off his shorts, Jisung stands up. “This isn’t an exam. We can discuss and figure it out,” he protests but he is already resigned. Minho is tense and Jisung doesn’t like it when he’s like this. He sighs, “but I won’t push you.”

“Even if you do, there’s nothing that I’ll be able to tell you.” Minho’s voice is brittle. He bends down and picks up a stone and throws it at the river.

Jisung watches the ripples that the stone makes as it skips along the surface of water before finally sinking.

───────

“Still can’t sleep?” Hyunjin asks, a week into their stay at his summer home. “Wow, Sungie, your the bags under your eyes are something else.”

Jisung ruffles his hair and stumbles to the kitchen in search of coffee. He accidentally sloshes some of it over his fingers and he hisses, his temper flaring to the extent that it takes five deep breaths to stop himself from throwing his mug at the wall. He sucks coffee off his finger and goes in search of Hyunjin, who has moved to the sit-out.

Jisung collapses next to him on the porch swing. “I thought you said that this place is a miracle cure.”

Hyunjin’s spoonful of oatmeal hovers near his mouth. Jisung considers its descent back to the bowl as Hyunjin lowers his arm and wonders if he should steal some. “I thought that swimming and tennis and fresh air along with no stress will help you sleep better. Maybe, give it a few more days?”

“But I want magic,” Jisung whines and pokes Hyunjin’s hand until he looks at him and then opens his mouth.

“Brat,” Hyunjin says, but feeds him a bite anyway, “sorry, but there are no miracles. Changbin hyung says that it’s the placebo effect. And even if something special was going on, it’s not like the townspeople will tell us rich pricks.”

Jisung washes down the oatmeal with a swig of coffee. He’s definitely going to steal the rest of Hyunjin’s oatmeal. “You’re the rich prick, here, I’m your poor lackey.”

Hyunjin rolls his eyes and pinches Jisung’s waist. “Keep telling yourself that. I’m waiting hand and foot on you.”

“As you should.” Jisung yelps when Hyunjin pinches him harder, “Stop doing that! I’m still sleep deprived and uncoordinated!” He jumps when Hyunjin pinches him again, “hey!”

With an oily, simpering smile, Hyunjin retracts his fingers. “Oops, sorry. It happened by mistake.”

Jisung makes an amused sound, but he’s actually quite annoyed. It’s not because of Hyunjin though. His persistent headache has returned and is knocking cheerfully at his temples. He glowers at his coffee. “You don’t know anything about the magic stuff?”

Hyunjin kicks his leg out with enough force to make the swing move faster. “Well. They say that the river water was magical and that the townspeople used it for everything. Gardening, drinking, bathing. The scientists checked for minerals and stuff, but by then one of the things that feeds rivers – what’s it called? – was choking up anyway, so they say the river lost its magic because it was drying.”

Jisung hums and pulls his legs up to his chest.

“I mean, who knows,” Hyunjin continues, making the swing go faster until it creaks, “maybe the townspeople were just freaks of nature in terms of health. And it was, what, the eighties when they did the study? Couldn’t have been a good study, anyway. They wouldn’t have had tech like we do.”

“Do you think if I went to the river and like,” Jisung ponders aloud, looking at the glinting blue depths of the swimming pool. “Take a sip or something, it’ll help me?”

Hyunjin gives him an incredulous look. “You’ll get a disease and maybe the medicines you’ll have to take will make you sleep. That’s the thing that will happen.” His expression turns thoughtful then, “however, it’s a pretty good spot for a nap.”

“Really? Then I’m going there,” Jisung says, the breeze cooling the heat that is seeping into his skin, “at this rate, I’m going to collapse soon anyway. Might as well let the river take me,” he jokes and gets an elbow to his ribs in retaliation.

───────

“Hyunjin is so busy with his summer romance,” Jisung says as they dry off under the sun after their swim, “that he has forgotten I exist.”

Minho laughs and it is a pleasing sound. Everything about him is so soft, so gentle. “And you have your own thing going on. Aren’t you guys even?”

Jisung blurts it out before he can think too much. “Are you saying that I’m busy with my own summer romance? Is that what you mean?”

Oh god, the pinkness on Minho’s skin makes his belly do an actual somersault. Fuck. Jisung’s heartbeat races and digs his fingers into the damp earth.

“I – well,” Minho tugs at his earlobe and doesn’t meet Jisung’s eye. “I would like that, but it isn’t possible now, is it?” He raises his head then and he’s stiff again. “I think what I wanted to say was that you're busy with your summer friendship.”

He had never thought that he would be so intense and passionate when it came to romance, but here he is anyway, springing up and saying, “who says we can’t be together?” Maybe because he has never felt like this before, “if we try then we can make it –”

“Jisung, you can’t be with a person who has no past and whose future is…” Minho waves his hand around and the water on his chest shimmers, “uncertain. This cannot _be_.”

Jisung tries to grab Minho’s hand but Minho snatches it away from his reach. “Hyung! Look – I know enough about you that –”

“You’ve known me for a few days! Attraction doesn’t –”

Jisung stands up, looming over Minho, who is still seated. “It’s been three weeks! And – and it feels like I’ve known you forever! That is a solid…foundation to explore.”

“Time passes strangely in dreams.”

Jisung pauses, then throws his arms out in incredulity, “this isn’t a dream. Hyung, come on,” he rolls his eyes, “time passes strangely in dreams,” he repeats in a high-pitched voice. He expects Minho’s serious façade to crack, for him to snort as he tries to hold back his laughter.

But there is no ripple in his face. No change, no tremor. “Ever since I came here,” he says and then he stands up too. Now he is the one who is looking down. “My sleep has been endless. But every time I wake up, it feels like no time has passed. The time I spend asleep or awake makes no sense. ”

It is so bright today. The sun is high up in the sky and the canopy of the trees that surround them are no match to it. Still, ice crawls down his spine. “What do you mean?”

“Time passes strangely in dreams,” Minho whispers. He is scared too, Jisung notices, his eyes are blown wide.

Jisung exhales. “This isn’t a dream.”

Minho doesn’t reply, but he doesn’t deny it either.

“And I’m sorry for pushing even after you said no, hyung,” Jisung rubs his hand through his wet hair. Strands of it snag around his fingers, “it’s alright,” he exhales. “It’s alright,” he repeats.

The reply is the barest incline of Minho’s head.

───────

Changbin is friendly and possesses the rare ability to make interesting small talk. But, Jisung is in rare form today, itching with curiosity to know about the strange man he’s been seeing at the river. So when Hyunjin leaves to make more popcorn, Jisung takes his chance.

“Hyung, if you have lived here all your life, then do you know everything about the myths and stuff?” Jisung asks.

He’s supposed to moderate this ‘chill bros game night’ and stop Hyunjin from embarrassing himself in his attempt to suss out Changbin’s interest in him or lack thereof. So far Changbin and Hyunjin have spent the entire evening canoodling outrageously.

Changbin shrugs, “sure. But there’s actually nothing magical or… supernatural about it, you know that right?”

Jisung nods and fiddles with his console. “Yeah, but stories are cool and I’m really interested in it.” He debates whether he should mention the river or not. He decides to do so because this town is full of strange stories, but he is interested only in a specific one. “I have been going to the river recently and it’s so peaceful and calm –“

“You go to the river?” Changbin interrupts and his eyebrows are raised, “the path that leads to it is inaccessible, is it not?”

Jisung rears back, blinking. “No? I mean, yeah, there’s a gate and path and all that, but the gate is always open. Wait, am I not supposed to go there? Shit, have I been trespassing?”

“No?” Changbin laughs and pats Jisung’s shoulder, “hey, relax, if you were able to walk inside then it means someone isn’t doing their work properly.”

Jisung worries his bottom lip with his front teeth, embarrassed. “I won’t get into trouble, right? I didn’t know that the area was out of bounds.” The smell of popcorn drifts from the kitchen and Hyunjin calls, “done!”

Changbin shakes his head. “No way. Even if you do just tell them my name and I’ll get you out of trouble.” He jumps up to help Hyunjin who waddles out of the kitchen carrying three bowls. “But I don’t think anything will happen because no one goes to the river anymore,” he says as he returns to the sofa with two of the bowls.

“What are you talking about?” Hyunjin asks, scooping up a handful of popcorn. “What trouble did Jisungie get into and why wasn’t I invited?”

Jisung and squirms in his seat as guilt gnaws at him. “Just – you know, I accidentally trespassed.”

Hyunjin drops down next to him and shoves the popcorn at him. “I thought that you did something sexy, like ride a motorbike or something.”

“I can ride a motorbike,” Changbin says. Jisung thinks that he is trying to sound casual, but his voice is squeaky and his ears are pink.

Hyunjin’s face is bright red and isn’t this the best moment to be holding the popcorn? Jisung makes a show of settling back into his seat. “Don’t leave things off at a cliffhanger, please,” he teases and laughs when both of them start sputtering.

───────

“I’ve been thinking,” Minho says the moment Jisung approaches him.

Jisung doesn’t know why he is trying to befriend this strange man, but he is here anyway with food for lunch, and a picnic blanket. “What have you been thinking?”

“About how all the faces that we see in our dreams are faces that we’ve seen before.” Minho watches Jisung unroll the blanket and lay it on the ground. “Nice idea.”

“I’ve been known to have good ideas from time to time,” Jisung says with a laugh before sitting down cross legged. He pulls his knapsack towards him and unknots the string. “Is it really true? The thing about faces?”

Minho nods and he is still watching Jisung. No, he’s watchful, as if he is trying to understand Jisung. As if he is a puzzle to be solved. “I’ve heard it a few times.” He crawls past the borders of the blanket and rolls to his side.

“It makes sense, I guess? Dreams are our memories combining and recombining in different patterns,” Jisung hands one of the food containers to Minho, “I vaguely remember hearing something about it in psych class.”

Minho accepts the container, but doesn’t open it. “I don’t know what I am exactly,” he says and the switch in topic rattles Jisung’s mind, “but I sometimes think that I have something to do with dreams.”

Jisung freezes, unsure of how to approach this. He really doesn’t know what he is doing because it is impossible to understand Minho. At first, Jisung had thought that he was homeless, but Minho had laughed at his face when Jisung awkwardly tried to help. He keeps alluding to dreams and the like and has clearly told him that he doesn’t remember any personal information.

_“Are you a ghost?” Jisung had asked._

_“Ghosts don’t have any hope for a future, but I do,” Minho had replied. “I know this will end one day.”_

_“When?”_

_Minho had no answer._

“Are you saying that… you are a dream?” Jisung smiles and opens his own box of food, “that’s a bit narcissistic, isn’t it?”

“No, I think I am a part of them,” Minho taps a beat on the lid of his container. “I think I help them progress and…” His breath stutters and his hands seize around the lid, “keep them coming back.”

Jisung doesn’t understand, but it doesn’t matter. Or maybe he’s too tired to understand. He eats a bite of food and lets the silence stretch.

───────

It takes Jisung three days to notice that he has been sleeping well even after he got rejected by Minho. He stares at his ceiling and lets the realization sink.

He’d expected the stress and embarrassment – god, what the fuck was he thinking? – to make it impossible to sleep. But every night as he whines into his pillow in humiliation as his mind lashes him with memories, he falls asleep without realising and wakes up refreshed.

He’s sweating again and the neck of his t-shirt is damp. It’s too hot in the house these days even with air conditioning. It is never this hot at the riverbank. In fact, it is such a pleasant place that Jisung is tempted to stay there all night and catch up on sleep. Yeah, he’ll have to avoid Minho, but that area is so vast that it would be easy to just slip in and – 

“Jisung!” Hyunjin calls outside his door, “come on, it’s nine o’clock!”

───────

Jisung doesn’t remember how he started talking to Minho. One day, he had seen him in the distance and a couple of days later, he was chatting with Minho like old friends. It is so easy with him, the transition from stranger to friend to crush. Jisung, who is generally friendly if a bit reserved has never gotten so close to anyone so fast.

He feels like he has known Minho for a long time and it has just been a week since he started going to the river.

Hyunjin is making coffee when he enters the kitchen. “Sleep well?”

“Much better than last week,” Jisung replies as he stands on his tiptoes to get his preferred mug, “the river really helps.”

“What do you do there, anyway?” Hyunjin sounds guilty and Jisung’s mood is good enough and his mind clear enough that he picks up on it.

Jisung presses close against Hyunjin’s side and smacks a kiss on his cheek. “I sit there, I stare at the clouds, I dip my toes into the water, I…” he focuses on pouring coffee into his mug, “I sleep.”

He doesn’t sleep, he spends all his time talking to Minho. The lie prods at him with tiny claws, skitters at the back of his mind. “You don’t have to worry about me. Go embarrass yourself in front of Changbin hyung.”

Hyunjin stomps his toes and Jisung hisses before punching his arm. Mugs forgotten; they wrestle in the middle of the kitchen. They call a truce five minutes later and go to the porch where they eat sitting on the swing. The water is a deep blue and the air is still. Jisung will leave in half an hour after Hyunjin goes to the library to make moon eyes at Changbin.

“I dreamed about Changbin hyung the other day,” Hyunjin says and then pokes Jisung immediately, “not that kind of dream, asshole, the sweet, sappy kind.”

“Ew,” Jisung says anyway because what else are you supposed to say when your friend talks about a dream about their crush?

Hyunjin sighs. “I honestly don’t know why I put up with you.”

Jisung waggles his eyebrows and puffs out his cheeks. “It’s because you love me,” he sings, pouting.

Hyunjin gives him a look of deep disgust. “I hate you and I only like Changbin who held my hand in my dream and made me fall for him. I’ll be making a move soon.”

Jisung makes obnoxious kissing sounds just to annoy Hyunjin.

───────

“So, now everyone thinks it was because of the placebo effect?” Jisung asks, looking over at Changbin.

Changbin shrugs his shoulders. He is cuddled against Hyunjin’s side and he looks content even though Jisung has been boring him with questions about the town. “Yeah. Sure, back when there were no outside influences, there might’ve been something in the water, but by the time…” he pauses to take a long sip of beer and Jisung near about vibrates out of his seat.

“By the time?” he prompts, shooting a look at Hyunjin. Hyunjin is too busy admiring Changbin to pay attention to him, so he relaxes just a little.

Changbin places his bottle back on the table. “By the time the outsiders came here, the town was already in decline. It is funny actually, how people behaved like this is a dream come true and invested so much into a dying town. And for what? A drying river?”

Hyunjin snaps out of his daze and squints at Jisung. “Didn’t we discuss this already?” He rubs his chin and raises a brow, “hey! we did!”

Jisung squirms in shame, feeling caught out. But what is there to be ashamed of? “Yeah, but it’s so fascinating. I think the placebo effect is a bit like magic.” Okay, maybe he should’ve thought a little more about it before blurting it out. “Like, you experience the… the effect of a substance just because you _believe_ it will have an effect.”

“That’s science, Jisung,” Hyunjin says with a familiar mix of exasperation and affection. He throws a peanut at Jisung. “Our brains and bodies are weird. That was the first thing our professor said in our psych class.”

Jisung smacks Hyunjin’s hand that is resting on the table. “I know, dickhead. But it’s so cool that an inert substance affects us so much.”

Changbin laughs when Hyunjin lunges forward to hit Jisung. “Or maybe it’s our mind giving power to a substance. Who knows, really? It’s all in the past.”

“But there are no – no urban legends? – or whatever about the river?” he blushes when Hyunjin frowns in confusion, “I’m just saying that if the river is so prominent in the town's history then there should be myths associated with it, right? Like Slenderman or something.”

He thinks he sounds too eager, too fanatical because Changbin and Hyunjin share a look. Jisung wants to crawl under the table and hide away from their worried eyes, but he stays glued to his seat. If he finds something then he can help Minho.

“It’s the river itself,” Changbin says, glancing at Hyunjin again, “the entire myth, story, legend, whatever you want to call it, centres around the river.”

Jisung sags in disappointment. Hyunjin changes the topic immediately and he tries his best to pretend to be interested in this topic, but all he can think about is the river.

───────

“It’s so strange that I know just as much about you as you do,” Jisung muses, placing a blade of grass above his mouth. As he says it, he realises how true it is. They get along so well that all their conversations melt and blur the same way 3 A.M. conversations do. Even though they meet only in the afternoons, their meetings have the intimacy of night time.

He doesn't know what they have spoken about, but all of them pull him closer and closer to Minho.

Minho snorts and pokes his arm. “There’s absolutely nothing to know. I don’t remember anything.”

“Yes, but –” Jisung licks his lips as he thinks. He can’t think because it is too hot today and he is starting to sweat. “I know how the curse is, I know about _you_.” It sounds so weak that he clears his throat and says more stridently, “I know everything that there is to know.”

“First of all, you’re the one who is convinced that I am cursed.” Minho, who was making a flower crown, has paused his movements. His fingers are dainty, but they are quivering. “Secondly, there is nothing to know about me.”

Sometimes, speaking to Minho is like talking to someone who answers only in mathematical equations. It is discordant and senseless. “Hyung, I just mean to say that you’re cursed, but even with that curse, there’s… some individuality to you. And I know that.”

Minho purses his lips. “Sometimes I wonder which one of us is cursed.”

“Hyung,” Jisung complains, “please, stop changing the topics. I just like knowing stuff about you, okay? That’s all.”

“Have you ever wondered why I know only as much as you know?” Minho asks instead of making an effort to make sense.

But that’s okay, Jisung likes nonsense. It’s fun to fall into its flow and let it carry him. “That’s how I began this conversation. I think we’re using the word ‘know’ too much,” he laughs.

Minho smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes. The flower crown falls from his hands and it is a misshapen mess. “I don’t think you understand the question even if the question itself has the answer. Do you know how to make flower-crowns?”

A drop of sweat trails down from Jisung’s temple, following the curve of his jaw. “I don’t.”

“I don’t either,” Minho replies and drops the flowers on Jisung’s head.

───────

“We have to leave,” Hyunjin says when Jisung manages to drag himself out of bed and from his dreams of going to the river and make his way to the kitchen.

Jisung pauses at the threshold and rubs his eyes. God, he can smell the stench of sweat when he raises his hand. He should’ve changed. “Is something wrong?”

Hyunjin turns back to the stove and stirs something, his ladle clanking against the metal vessel. “Parents have rented it out to someone.” His shoulders rise to his ears. “It’s sudden, but yeah. Money and stuff.”

Jisung walks up to him and peers into the saucepan. “Makes sense. This place must be in high demand, no?”

Hyunjin is staring so intently at the saucepan that his glasses are fogging up. He doesn’t seem to care. “Yes.”

As he fills a glass with water, Jisung studies him, trying to understand why he is being so standoffish. He drinks half of it before he realises. “Oh shit! Changbin hyung?”

Hyunjin switches off the gas and turns. He wipes his glasses with the hem of the undershirt he’s wearing. “We’re going to see if it’ll work out.” He puts his glasses back on and looks at Jisung for the first time. “Do you really go to the river?”

Jisung, who had been about to cheer, freezes with his mouth still shaping the ‘yay!’ he’d been about to utter. “Yeah? I’ve been going there every day.”

Hyunjin’s face – Jisung doesn’t know how to explain it – it crumples and goes flat at the same time. “I see.”

“I even swam there with –” Jisung’s stomach drops and he swallows when he sees Hyunjin’s eyes widen, “with the fishes,” he adds hastily, “just me, the sun and the fishes.”

A long silence. Jisung feels like he’s been dropped into the middle of another person’s story with no context and he wishes he knew what the fuck is going on in Hyunjin’s head. He shifts from foot to foot as he waits for Hyunjin’s pronouncement.

It comes a moment later. “We’ll leave this weekend. We need to leave immediately.”

───────

Minho is sitting where he always sits.

“Minho hyung,” Jisung whispers as he comes to a halt.

There’s no breeze today and the sky is overcast. Minho walks over to Jisung but stands two steps away.

Jisung takes a deep breath. “I’m leaving in two days,” he says and his voice carries in the ringing silence.

The relief that flashes over Minho’s face feels a kick to the gut. Jisung drops his eyes when his eyes start burning. But the tears don’t fall.

“I’m sorry for giving you the wrong idea. But I had to...” Minho’s voice is always so soft. So gentle. “Forget about the past. There are better things out there for you, Jisungie.”

Jisung tries to laugh, but it comes out as a wet hiccup. “Assignments and a shitty apartment, you mean.”

Minho’s lips twitch in amusement. “Such is college life.”

They stand in silence for a while. Jisung looks at the river and from the corner of his eyes, he can see Minho gazing beyond Jisung and towards the gate. He’d once said that he knew this would end, but when Jisung had asked when it would, he had been silent. He wants to cry again.

“When the curse breaks…” Jisung clears his throat, “ – when it breaks, will you visit – will we meet again? You know where I live and stuff.” He presses a hand against his stomach to quell the churning and to comfort himself. “I would like to see you.”

Minho hesitates and that’s another punch to the gut. “I don’t know what will happen. Let’s see.”

_Even if the beginning isn’t clear, the end always is_ , Jisung thinks. Everything around them is still and silent. He should leave even if he doesn’t want to. “Hyung? Why are you stuck here?” He doesn’t elaborate. Minho always understands him.

“It’s the river,” is the reply and it annoys Jisung even if he’s expecting it.

“But why is – why is it _the river_?” He is tired of these looping conversations that never tell him anything beyond what he already knows.

Minho knots his fingers together, looks at the river and then at Jisung. “Did you know that water is a symbol of transition?”

What’s the point of this? “Yeah, I know.” Jisung squares his shoulders and steps away. “Bye, hyung.”

Minho doesn’t reply and after a moment, Jisung leaves.

───────

Hyunjin makes him go to a doctor, just in case the miraculous effect of the town wears off. He is so insistent that he accompanies Jisung to the clinic and breathes down his neck about following the instructions that the doctor gave him.

He does what he is told and he is able to sleep well which motivates him to fall into a routine. His crush on Minho, as intense as it was, fades away in a few weeks. That’s the only benefit of an infatuation, he thinks. It burns out pretty quick.

Hyunjin doesn’t bring up the river or the town even though he talks non-stop about Changbin. Jisung doesn’t talk about it either and makes fun of Hyunjin for being whipped. If he researches about curses and the river in his spare time, then no one needs to know. He just wants to help Minho and he doesn’t expect anything in return.

One day Hyunjin asks him, “did you really go to the river?”

Jisung looks up from his phone and sighs. “Yes, I did. What’s it with you not believing that I used to go to the river?”

Hyunjin waves a hand as if dismissing the accusation. “And the gates were already unlocked? I mean the gate that leads to the path that you have to take to go to the river. You know, the path that is near the garden?” He fidgets with his phone as he rambles but his eyes are sharp.

Jisung stares at him incredulously. “Yes, Hyunjin. I remember the way to the river and yes, the gates were always unlocked.”

Hyunjin doesn’t say anything for a long time and not wanting to admit that he’s unnerved, Jisung pretends to be bored and drops his gaze to his phone.

Hyunjin leaves without saying anything, but that’s the last time they talk about it.

───────

Jisung goes to a bakery that’s on his way to college to get something sweet. This is not his preferred one, but they have decent stuff and that will have to do for now. There’s a short line inside and Jisung plays a game on his phone to pass time until it’s his turn. When he’s second in line, he puts away his phone and looks up.

His breath freezes in his lungs. Minho is chatting with the customer in front of Jisung.

The customer moves away. Jisung steps forward without realising that he is moving. His mind falls silent except for a high pitched whine in his ears and his heartbeat races so much that he can feel it thud against his chest.

Minho smiles and there's a look in his eyes that Jisung can't read. Minho inclines his head and says, “hello.”

**Finish**.

**Author's Note:**

> Real Minho in dreams or Dream Minho in reality or both? 
> 
> I tried to incorporate three elements of dreams that I find fascinating: odd transitions of time, heightened and/or lack of emotions and the unquestioning acceptance of everything.
> 
> Since information about the placebo effect comes from Jisung and Hyunjin's perspective and they have only completed first year psych, it is oversimplified and not very nuanced.
> 
> Hope you liked it! I would love to hear what you think <33
> 
> **|[twitter](https://twitter.com/liquorish_roots)|**  
>  **|[curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/trip_the_zipp)|**


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